Thursday, June 10, 2010

Can't Win

I've been sleeping too soundly it would seem.

I get so tired from the pain, and I just lay down... Taking forever to actually fall asleep, but once I'm out... I'm OUT.

No moving, tossing, turning...

I wake up in exactly the position I fell asleep in.

I slept in on the weekend, and when I finally woke up, I was so tired from the pain in all my joints that I had to go back to bed.

I almost miss the insomnia.

Last night I fell asleep in an awkward position, and when I woke up I had to spend about 15 minutes putting things back where they're supposed to be before I could even take a shower.

Went to work, and I fell, awkwardly, and dislocated my ankle. After work I went to the mall, almost fell, but caught myself in such a way that I dislocated my knee. When I got home, I was in the bathroom, and I fell out into the hallway. As I'm sitting here typing this, it feels as though my left elbow wants to dislocate, and the two bones in my forearm feel as though they're magnetically charged, and trying to run away from each other.

But on the good side of today, I bought 3 CD's. One to replace the one that snapped in half... One that I've wanted for a while, and Meatloaf: Bat Out of Hell. I used to listen to my dad's record of it, and it was the best sound... But I didn't get any of his record collection when he passed away, and I figured a CD would have to do.

It's raining here, or I would go torment myself by rollerblading. If I only did it on days when I don't hurt, I'd never do it... So I just have to clench my teeth, and wait for my brain to turn off... Almost like meditation, but with enough awareness of my surroundings that I don't steer myself into the river... Or traffic.

3 comments:

Lost In Pain said...

I'm new to blogspot, diagnosed with fibromyalgia, but I suspect I have EDS. I can SO relate to this post. It is terribly frustrating when the one thing that is supposed to "regenerate" us (sleep) can actually cause us more pain! I find myself fighting sleep for days sometimes, simply because I KNOW if I fall asleep, I will feel worse when I wake up, and it will take hours to get back to feeling "normal" (ie, only in so much pain I can't THINK, rather than so much that I can't even MOVE). I have subscribed to your blog, and hope you will visit mine :-)

BubbleGirl said...

Lost In Pain,
Thanks for the comment!
I've gone to the extreme of actually setting my alarm on weekends so I don't oversleep, and staying up past my bedtime for the same reason. It seems like my joints want a maximum of 6 hours, while my rejeuvenating effects of sleep don't kick in until the 12-14 hour mark.

I used to have a 36 hour day while I was working nights, and with the shifts I had, I would be awake for 24 hours, then sleep for 12. It was perfect.

Lost In Pain said...

Exactly! My joints can only handle an hour or two in any single position, and 2-3 roll-overs in a night is my limit. I find myself taking a cue from my cat... and I take short naps throughout the day, LOL! Unfortunately, that schedule is not very conducive to productivity ... but I currently am unemployed so it works for me.