Happy _______Day???

Happy Birthday Grampa!

Not so happy death day Dad :(

Three years ago today my father passed away while on vacation. He went peacefully in his sleep. It was his father's birthday.

Since then I've lost so many people.

It hurts.

Today will be a day to reflect on life, and death, and family.

Pain Sucks

I know, I know, "That's not news," you will tell me, "we all know that."

But yesterday was beyond words. On top of everything I'm about to tell you, yesterday felt like my body had Alzheimer's... My feet forgot how to walk, my hands forgot how to write, print and type, and my tongue forgot how to speak...

I finally finished my brother's sweater that I was making him for his birthday (originally) and that didn't work, so I thought I'd give it to him for Christmas... but... It's too small, and I have to start again (the way it's constructed is not conducive to alterations after the fact) . So yesterday... I went shopping for more yarn to add to my mountain and hill of yarn, that continue to grow in my living room. And as I was walking my ankle had one of those horrendous *CRUNCH* moments, and I almost screamed. Off I toddled to the nearest seat, tore off my shoe, gingerly removed my brace, poked around a bit, then gently (and with a lot of force) tied my brace back on tightly enough that my toes started losing feeling. Then I was on my way again.

Once I got home, I quickly put all of my things "away" (haphazardly threw them onto any available surface) then curled into the fetal position, and didn't move for 2 hours. After that I was on my way outside for a smoke and three steps toward the door had me almost in tears from the pain. I went back the three steps I had already taken, and grabbed my emergency medicine, so I could smoke some of that too. After my self medication I was finally able to concentrate on something other than the pain, and after a while I went to bed. You know what fish do, when they're out of water? Lots of flopping? That was me until 3am 'cuz I was still in too much pain to get comfortable enough to sleep (and my emergency pain medication usually knocks me out pretty well). Then I got up at 6am, and went to work... Grrr...

At work, writing, which I do a LOT of EVERY DAY... I bent my index finger knuckle really far the wrong direction. I need some ring splints... Lots of them. Soon. I still can't use my index finger, and my ring finger on the other hand seems to think sympathy pain is a good thing...

After work today I get to do the whole process again, because I couldn't find enough of the yarn I needed last night...

...Oh, and I broke my husband... I feel REALLY bad about it :(

Good News, Bad News

So the good news... Life has been relatively uneventful.

Which is also the bad news, because I have nothing to post about.

Well... I could talk about the wonderful world of PROPRIOCEPTION. That would be fun, right?

So basic overview... Proprioception is the inner sense of where your various body parts are in relation to each other. When you're pulled over by police, and they do a field sobriety test, proprioception is what allows you to touch your nose with your eyes closed.

In people with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, proprioception is permanently impaired to different degrees (presumably in relation to the severity of EDS). When a limb moves beyond the normal range of motion (eg: dislocation, subluxation, or increased flexibility) it is easy to lose a sense of where the limb is in relation to the body.

My proprioception seems to be getting worse, especially in relation to my hands, as my joints become more and more unstable. Last week I dislocated the same finger twice while stapling files at work. I have a hard time grasping my coffee cup: it feels like I'm going to drop it when I pick it up, so I have to pick it up with both hands a lot of the time. While typing, I've always had to look at the keyboard, but I have been making increasingly more typing (not spelling) errors lately, because I can't seem to feel if I've hit the key or not. --Just in that last sentence I had to retype the same word 5 times.-- I also have been having issues writing, because I can't seem to grip a pen or pencil tightly enough. I find cursive to be easier than printing when my hands are being mean.

I have always paid more attention to where I'm putting my feet than most people I know. I've gone for hikes (many years ago, when my joints still worked), and not noticed a single detail about the scenery until we got to our destination, because I've been looking at my feet the whole way. This makes getting lost significantly easier, because I've been paying attention only to what's below me.

I have more good news! My nephew that gave me swine flu is healthy again. He wasn't sick for very long, and it hit him like a normal flu. His mom didn't get sick... And both of them had their swine flu shots the day before my nephew started showing symptoms (so he already had it before he got the shot).

Drumroll Please...

It wasn't that bad.

You hear that?

H1N1 IS NOT THAT BAD.

I've been sicker, for longer periods of time, with exceptionally less-talked-about illnesses.

Food poisoning at grade 5 camp? Way worse than this.

The flu I caught when I was 9? Way worse... Normal seasonal strain, fever of +105F.

This one differs from the rest in that there's more chest involvement. Like a bad chest cold with a side of flu.

I would advise (not medical advice, just personal experience advice) normal/healthy people to just suck it up and go without the flu shot. Unless you are in the high risk group, or are in contact with high risk people, or have pre-existing breathing issues (asthma/bronchitis etc.), I would say H1N1 is a lot less bad than the media would have you believe.

I Survived H1N1 2009!

For anyone out there keeping track, I caught it from my 10 month old nephew. He was the last little kid I visited that weekend, so I didn't pass it on to the other 2 kids, YAY ME! My nephew was just really snotty (like running out both nostrils faster than you could wipe it off) and he seems to be on the mend now. He had a fever and a cough, and the fever's down. His mom is pregnant (due in January) and she doesn't seem to be getting sick, so that's a good thing. She is in 2 high risk groups. She's pregnant, and she has chronic bronchitis, so think healthy thoughts in her direction!

Swine Flu 1976 Propaganda

Swine Flu 1976 & Propaganda
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H1N1

I have it... It feels like I've been hit by a truck. I'm sneezy, and coughy, and snotty, and achy, and sleepy, and dizzy, and fevery, and BLAH... Ick...

I will come back and post when I'm healthy-ish again.

Oooh... Is it irony? ... I come down with H1N1 the day after the vaccine clinic opens up... THREE BLOCKS AWAY FROM MY HOUSE...

The Birthday Parties...

...Were AWESOME!!!!

Okay, Friday night was my best friend's birthday party, and we went out to karaoke. It was nice, I got to meet new people, and I got to sing. I sang Hands by Jewel, then I sang Angel by Sarah McLachlan, which made the karaoke host cry. After that my best friend and I had a friendly competition with The Cranberries' Zombie, she won... The prize was a drink from the karaoke host, but my friend's pregnant, so I got the drink, and we were also playing for the right to sing that song when we go out together, because we always fight over it. After that I sang Thank You by Dido, and the karaoke host teasingly sang the first couple of lines of Eminem's Stan. All in all it was a pretty fun night.

Saturday night was my guy friend's birthday. He's in the army. Last year he didn't get a real birthday party because he had to fly out to the base the next day. This year he was pretty sure he was getting time off on his birthday, but the day before they told him he couldn't leave. He apparently updated his event on facebook, but I didn't get the memo, and neither did the only other guy I knew that was going. The two of us stayed until the bar closed at 2:30. It was so much fun!

I got there at 9:30, because I had to drive over an hour to get there, and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to find the place, so I left early. When I got there, I ordered a drink, and sat down with a good view of the door. I was sitting near a group of already drunk people. One of them threw a paper plane at my face, and missed thankfully. As an apology, he bought me a drink, then invited me to his table (my party still wasn't there, and I'd been there for an hour at this point). Right after I sat down at their table, a round of shots was bought, and I was three drinks in, without knowing what was going on.

Finally my one friend got there, looked around, then dragged me over to the other bar in town (to look for the birthday boy), where I saw someone I haven't seen since high school, and she did one of those flying Superman hugs, and almost knocked me over, she was so excited to see me. Once we stopped jumping up and down hugging each other, and squealing like school girls, we talked for a few minutes, and she decided I was spending the night on her couch (which was a huge relief, as my ride flaked on me, she went to bed at 9:00, and I had already had too much to drink to allow myself to drive anywhere).

So me and guy friend went back to the first bar, and talked for hours, until the bar closed, and he had to drive his GF home. At the point that I had bought my fourth drink, I set it on the table, and a drunk guy almost knocked the table over when he walked past. My drink was airborne, and I managed to pull a wikkid awesome ninja move, and I caught the drink without spilling a single drop!

I walked back to bar number two, and waited for my gal friend to get off work, then we walked back to her house, and stayed up talking until 3:30 in the morning. I crashed on the couch, and woke up to a 4 year old staring at me.

He was soooo cute though, and eerily quiet... I didn't even hear him get out of bed. He's not one of those kids that cries when he wakes up, or has the insane urge to run in circles. He was perfectly content to just sit there until I woke up, then he proceeded to SHOW ME EVERYTHING. He showed me all of his toys, and all of his little brother's toys, and all of the movies that the toys came from... "This one's the bad guy, Randall, from Monster's inc." But he did this with EVERY toy, and then all of his stuffed bears, then "Do you want to see my HALLOWEEN costume?!?!?!?!? Come to my room!!!! I'll show you!!!!!!!" On and on it went, until finally little brother woke up, and went downstairs... Then we watched Scooby Doo.

Little brother came upstairs a while later in Dad's arms, and I was sent downstairs for more sleep. Upon waking up again, I was officially introduced to the 2 little guys, and I got hugs and kisses, and cuddles. The littlest man called me auntie, and it was so cute! He's really good at apologizing too... First he poked me and said "I sorry, I sorry, I sorry" then he kissed it better. He did the same when he sat on my foot, and then when he pulled on my necklace... That time I got a kiss on the boob. It was too cute. I also got random hugs and kisses. The first time was when somebody else was leaving... Hugs and kisses for everyone. Then I was standing beside the chair the little man was sitting in, and he hugged my leg and kissed it, then I got one more hug and kiss when I finally left.

You guys have no idea how tempting it was to just stay there... The kids were so cute, and the parents were almost too lovey with each other, but it was such a happy atmosphere.

After I left there, I went to birthday girl's in-law's for supper (I brought timbits for dessert) and they were nice enough to feed me, even though I was unexpected. I visited with them for about an hour, and got drooled on by my nephew.

I finally made it home at 10:00 last night, stayed up with hubby to watch a scary movie, then we went to bed.

With all of the walking I did between the two bars, I'm glad to say that my ankle didn't give me any trouble, I had the brace on the whole time. Oddly my shoulder has been feeling worse and worse since Friday afternoonish, and it's to the point now that I can barely even move it enough to type without wanting to scream.

I started this post pretty early his morning, and it is now 4:01 in the afternoon. I think that's enough for today.