The Clonazepam is an anti-anxiety, anti-seizure medication. It seems to be a mood disturber of some sort, as I seem to be unreasonably irritable lately. It's like I'm on a VERY short fuse. I snap at everyone, and I don't mean to.
If you are one of my IRL friends, and I've snapped at you recently, I'm sorry.
If you're one of my bloggy friends, and I've left an unpleasant or snippy comment on one of your posts, I'm sorry about that too.
If I cry randomly, like when the mail arrives, or I read a funny part of a book, or just sit there sobbing uncontrollably, no, there's nothing wrong... It's the pills. They've turned me into a weepy, snappy, hormonal-feeling B**** and I can't seem to stop myself from saying hurtful things.
On another note, last weekend, my Hubby gave me a hug. A nice gentle hug, and it dislocated my shoulder and collarbone in such a way that all I could do was stand there and cry. Poor guy felt horrible about it. It felt so painful though, and I couldn't really move for a while. I didn't snap at him though, and I'm thankful for that. I just hugged my left arm between us for a few minutes until I got the crying under control.
I'm seeing my geneticist next week. I should really bring him up to date on everything that's happened since January, but I so want to just send him a link to my blog. "Here, if you care at all, you'll read the whole thing through."
More of the B**** coming out I suppose. I can't seem to be happy. I think at my follow-up appointment with the tourette's/neurologist lady I'll have to ask her to try me on something else. I'm still twitching. It's less frequent, but more severe. I'm in pain 24/7, and I'm depressed.
I had a lovely suicidal thought last night. It seemed perfectly reasonable at the time. I've thought it through though, and I'll be okay. On this front at least.
Wallowing In It
1 week ago