My body feels like it doesn't fit. Things feel like they aren't where they should be, or that they shouldn't be where they are.
I'm feeling less and less co-ordinated, and more and more off balance.
I don't know where I am.
I can look at my hands, tell them to pick up a cup of coffee, and watch them wander aimlessly for a while, before finally grasping it. Then there's the journey from the table/desk to my mouth... Then tilting it just enough to get the coffee in my mouth, without spilling it all over myself.
I feel like a toddler. Independent, confident in my ability to do everything by myself. Sure of my feet. But as an in independent onlooker, people can see that I can't do it all myself. I can't drink from a big kid cup, or walk without stumbling into things, unless I support myself against a wall, or counter.
I was supposed to be past this stage in my life. I already mastered the art of walking, graduated from a sippy cup.
Where will I be in 10 years? Will I have to go back to Velcro shoes? It doesn't seem too far-fetched.
That's What It Means
1 week ago