Monday, January 18, 2010

I think I need a tailor...

My body feels like it doesn't fit. Things feel like they aren't where they should be, or that they shouldn't be where they are.

I'm feeling less and less co-ordinated, and more and more off balance.

I don't know where I am.

I can look at my hands, tell them to pick up a cup of coffee, and watch them wander aimlessly for a while, before finally grasping it. Then there's the journey from the table/desk to my mouth... Then tilting it just enough to get the coffee in my mouth, without spilling it all over myself.

I feel like a toddler. Independent, confident in my ability to do everything by myself. Sure of my feet. But as an in independent onlooker, people can see that I can't do it all myself. I can't drink from a big kid cup, or walk without stumbling into things, unless I support myself against a wall, or counter.

I was supposed to be past this stage in my life. I already mastered the art of walking, graduated from a sippy cup.

Where will I be in 10 years? Will I have to go back to Velcro shoes? It doesn't seem too far-fetched.


Veronica said...

Oh how I understand this.


River said...

I feel your pain, seriously how hard is it walk from point A to point B without it turning into a major event.
Hope your day goes well

Lady of the Ozarks said...

Oh, I understand how you feel, it sucks. Hope things get better for you.

Saurou said...

Oh, absolutely. Sometimes it's like my brain and my limbs speak a different language and each one is only translating every third word. I have found that when I have the physical ability to do a little Tai Chi (I bought a goofy dvd offline) that it can help me pay more attention to where my limbs are with less difficulty. Best of luck!