Test Results?!?!? You're Joking Right?

I received a phone call today from the doctor's office which referred me to the G.I. specialist.

Lady: "Doctor Whatshisname would like to see you to go over your test results."
Me: "I haven't had any tests done, I'm waiting to see a G.I. specialist."
Lady: "But the doctor wants you to come in to go over your results..."
Me: "What results?"
Lady: "I don't know, he didn't specify that."
Me: "Okay... When can I see him?"
Lady: "You can make an appointment for no later than 4:20 today, or you can walk in on Thursday"
Me: "Well, I guess I'll make an appointment for 4:20, and take time off work to see what this guy is talking about."
Lady: "Sounds good. Today at 4:20."

Less than an hour later...

Lady: "The doctor called, and he won't be in today. So you'll have to reschedule your appointment."
Me: "Oh? The appointment you called to give me less than an hour ago?"
Lady: "Yes, you're booked in for 3:50 this afternoon, we have to reschedule."
Me: (Ignoring the inconsistency) "Can you talk to the doctor and find out what he wants before you call me back to reschedule?"
Lady: "Sure can, but he won't be in until Thursday, and we don't take appointments on Thursday, so you'll have to wait until next Monday to see him."
Me: "Okay. Can you tell me where I've been referred to for the G.I. specialist, and what their number is? I'd like to see when my appointment is for."
Lady: "Yes... (5 minutes later) ...It looks like they've received the request, so they'll call with your appointment time, but here's their number so you can call them."

I then called the G.I appointment co-ordinator and their answering machine said: "If you are a patient calling to enquire about your appointment time, be advised that we will call you to confirm your appointment three months in advance."

After I heard that I lost just a little bit more faith in our health care system. It's already been a month, and they haven't called me. They give you no idea as to how far away they are booking appointments for, and there isn't really any way to expedite the process, except bullying an MD into ordering tests BEFORE you see the specialist, which they seem to be loathe to do. If you do the test, send the results to the specialist, and have them look over the results, if they see any problems, THEY CAN GET ME IN SOONER!!!!

Add all of this to it being my dead dad's 50th birthday this past Saturday, and I'm just completely lacking in the happy department.

Oh, and I'm still not eating anything besides salt & vinegar potato chips to keep my blood pressure in the "don't lose consciousness" range... And yogurt; it's happy in my tummy.