Test Results?!?!? You're Joking Right?

I received a phone call today from the doctor's office which referred me to the G.I. specialist.

Lady: "Doctor Whatshisname would like to see you to go over your test results."
Me: "I haven't had any tests done, I'm waiting to see a G.I. specialist."
Lady: "But the doctor wants you to come in to go over your results..."
Me: "What results?"
Lady: "I don't know, he didn't specify that."
Me: "Okay... When can I see him?"
Lady: "You can make an appointment for no later than 4:20 today, or you can walk in on Thursday"
Me: "Well, I guess I'll make an appointment for 4:20, and take time off work to see what this guy is talking about."
Lady: "Sounds good. Today at 4:20."

Less than an hour later...

Lady: "The doctor called, and he won't be in today. So you'll have to reschedule your appointment."
Me: "Oh? The appointment you called to give me less than an hour ago?"
Lady: "Yes, you're booked in for 3:50 this afternoon, we have to reschedule."
Me: (Ignoring the inconsistency) "Can you talk to the doctor and find out what he wants before you call me back to reschedule?"
Lady: "Sure can, but he won't be in until Thursday, and we don't take appointments on Thursday, so you'll have to wait until next Monday to see him."
Me: "Okay. Can you tell me where I've been referred to for the G.I. specialist, and what their number is? I'd like to see when my appointment is for."
Lady: "Yes... (5 minutes later) ...It looks like they've received the request, so they'll call with your appointment time, but here's their number so you can call them."

I then called the G.I appointment co-ordinator and their answering machine said: "If you are a patient calling to enquire about your appointment time, be advised that we will call you to confirm your appointment three months in advance."

After I heard that I lost just a little bit more faith in our health care system. It's already been a month, and they haven't called me. They give you no idea as to how far away they are booking appointments for, and there isn't really any way to expedite the process, except bullying an MD into ordering tests BEFORE you see the specialist, which they seem to be loathe to do. If you do the test, send the results to the specialist, and have them look over the results, if they see any problems, THEY CAN GET ME IN SOONER!!!!

Add all of this to it being my dead dad's 50th birthday this past Saturday, and I'm just completely lacking in the happy department.

Oh, and I'm still not eating anything besides salt & vinegar potato chips to keep my blood pressure in the "don't lose consciousness" range... And yogurt; it's happy in my tummy.

Second Opinion

I went to the walk-in clinic last night, and spoke to the doctor about my tummy troubles. After barely listening to enough of what I said to form an opinion, he promptly ignored me and spent 5 minutes staring at his computer screen before saying "I'm going to prescribe you these pills." He then went on to tell me (after I practically forced it out of him) that "these pills" will slow down my digestive system to keep the food in me longer, so I'll have a chance to digest it properly, and absorb it. This is where I interjected with "NO. No, no, no, no, NO. Bad idea. It took approximately 24 hours for the food to pass through my system undigested. I've been dealing with a ridiculously slow digestive system my whole life, combined with chronic constipation. Keeping food in me longer is the absolute worst thing you could possibly do to me."

He has referred me to a G.I. specialist, and I should have an appointment hopefully in the next 2-3 weeks. If doctors would actually take proper information, and ask RELEVANT questions, they might have a better chance at treating people. I didn't go in complaining about violent diarrhea and flu-like systems... So why do you assume that when I say I passed food undigested, that it was in liquid form, and immediately after I ate it? If I had flu-like symptoms, I would have said so.

The only question he asked me was what type of food it was, and if I had been tested for gluten intolerance. I told him I've had a negative Celiac blood test, but I've cut gluten out of my diet since this occurred as a precaution anyway.

But anyway, I'll be sticking to my liquid diet until then, I've eaten a few things as far as solid food goes, and it causes quite a lot of pain when I do. Too bad I don't like Jello. That would probably be a good thing for when I want something semi-solid. Oh well... Ensure comes in orange flavor, which combined with the creamy ingredients, should taste creamsicle-ish.

I'm Fine, Apparently

I went to the doctor last night, told him about the completely undigested food that I passed, and he didn't even examine me. He said I should take Metamucil 2-3 times a day, take some laxatives when my constipation is really bad, and drink between two and three litres of water a day.

Then I told him that the Tramacet was completely ineffective, and asked if I could get some codeine, and he wanted to give me Tylenol with codeine, and I managed to convince him that was a bad idea. The thing about Tylenol with codeine, is that I get way too much Tylenol by the time I get enough codeine, and it makes me sick, because I'm practically overdosing on Tylenol.

So for now, I'm going to stick to my meal replacement beverages, and see how that goes. I've found some good-tasting flavors, so now I just have to look out for sales on the things, because they're pretty expensive.

It looks like I've found the right doctor for getting pain meds without being called a drug-seeker, and he even said "Tramacet works for everybody" but that was after I told him it didn't work on me. I educated him about most EDSers not reacting to things properly, and about how in certain countries part of the diagnostic criteria is that we have no reaction to local anaesthetics, and he seemed quite shocked at that. But it looks like I might have to go back to the walk-in clinic and see the random doctor of the day for my tummy troubles.